the feeling of being courted, being showered with attention even when not needed, the sense of... oh i don't know him very well but i want to, the sense of mystery around him because you didn't know him that much before - do you get it?
now that we understand each other, i can even predict the things he would say or do before he does it. this equilibrium is good, it's safe it's... secured in both of our hearts.
but sometimes i just want to destroy the equilibrium, destroy the bridge we built and the understanding we have. and let the courtship start all over again.
- the cute flirtatious talks.
- "what does he like? what kinda present should i get for him?"
- telling each other "i love you" shyly.
- get caught staring at one another.
but then again, if my boyfriend does all of that now with me i would probably freak the fuck out. these things that i am talking about are not tangible, can't be touched. it's the... feeling that i so wanna get back.
that tingling feeling in my heart, cheeks blushing and being nervous beside my boyfriend.
though i must say that i am proud to have reached a level most couples cannot. it took me years to reach it and both of us are really happy now.
i've cleared my thoughts. so i am going to stop now. thank you for reading. next topic (i would like to fix one just to lock the thoughts in my head in case i forget), "I'M ON A GREYYYY SCALE."
goodbye.
